Illinois Civil Union Question

Last night I received a question regarding the new process for Civil Unions in Illinois that will be effective June 1st.  The question came from one of my best friend's sister in laws.  It got me to thinking that it's really hard to figure out how to go about something when there are new laws in place.  It's not like they are publishing the rules in the newspaper.  Or like people read newspapers.  I'm a compulsive public radio listener and unless All Things Considered, Marketplace, or The World has talked about it, I need to look it up.

It also got me to thinking that I should have a question and answer section of my blog.  As a Researcher by trade, I trust myself to be able to find the answers people need quickly and legitimately.  So if anyone has any wedding-related questions about weddings in Minnesota, same-sex weddings, or creative weddings--shoot 'em my way!

Back to the IL Civil Unions question--Jen wrote:

Hello, I was hoping I could ask you a few questions. I know that you and your fiancé are getting married in just a few months. As I’m sure you know, Illinois is passing Civil Union laws and I have girlfriend, girlfriends, who are planning on getting married. They are going to city hall and getting their certificate and then a few days later they are having a ceremony, which I know you have to wait at least one day to have a ceremony. But my question is, by them going and getting the certificate, is that all they need to be married by the state? Or is the ceremony needed and does an officiate need to be present? I’m not sure if you have the answers, but if you have any insight or a website that you can direct me to, please do.

Thanks,
Jen
and congrats

My answer:

Hi! Thanks for the congratulations!
 

My understanding is that they just need to go to City Hall and obtain a license from the city clerk. They could also choose to exchange vows before a secular or religious official (if the religion approves of same-sex unions) and then they can register their union. I don't believe that there needs to be an officiant present. What I'm not sure on is if the registration process is the same process as the obtaining the license from the clerk. I imagine it is. They could call their local city clerk to find out if they wanted to be certain. They should also ask if they will need a witness. We are having a friend officiate our ceremony even though it isn't legal just because we want to have a traditional ceremony.

If they plan to change their names they should also start that process in advance of getting the civil union license. I am not sure if Illinois has a process in place yet for name changes upon application for a civil union. In Minnesota, Jesse and I will be able to change our names using one name-change application because our main residence is within Minneapolis, where there is Domestic Partnership recognition. It's basically the one things we get that is just like an opposite-sex couple. Assuming that both of the members of that couple were changing their names, which is pretty rare. Still, it's kind a big deal, symbolically at least.

What I suggest same-sex couples do if they want to have the licensing be part of the ceremony, if they have already obtained the official license at City Hall, is to have an artist create a marriage license or poster for all the guests present at the ceremony to sign. It can be something as simple as a frame with the Civil Union license copied onto a larger piece of paper with lines underneath it. Jesse and I will have one of these for guests to sign at our wedding and it will say something like, "Witnesses to the Marriage of..." Of course I'm still designing our invites that need to get out this week so I'm not really sure if it will Actually end up looking like that for ours. I've seen a lot of other couples do it though and I think it's lovely. There are a ton of people who make posters like this on Etsy if you search under Marriage Poster or Certificate. Here is an example.

I hope that that was helpful for you! Let me know if you have any other questions!

Cheers,

Alyson

And here is a link to another post about marriage poster guestbooks!

Marriage Posters

Marriage Poster, Contracts, and Witness Certificates are a great way to involve your guests and show them that they are there to bear to witness to your ceremony because they are the most important people in your lives.  A nice poster placed strategically at the entrance way to your ceremony can also serve as a guest book.

I also think that these certificate-like or poster-style items create both a family heirloom for all couples but a document to formalize same-sex marriages in states where there is no legal document to otherwise do so.  Jesse and I plan to create one that fits into our theme and invitation/stationary suite.  Guests can sign that they witnesses our wedding.  Then when marriage equality is achieved in Minnesota, we can just go down to City Hall and have ourselves an intimate affair.  The fact that we will get to do another wedding-related activity in the future is my silver-lining on being able to get legally married.  Two weddings!  Two accent color-schemes!  Two dress--wait, four dresses!  I'm a little out of control about it, like most things wedding. 

There a ton of really great poster ideas out there that are amazingly creative.  Here is a simple one from lovliday on Etsy.

                                                                      Source: etsy.com via Alyson on Pinterest

This is a cute idea using thumbprints.  It's from one of my all-time favorite weddings on 100 Layer Cake.  More photos can be seen here:

                                      Source: 100layercake.com via Alyson on Pinterest

The genius behind Rifle Paper, Co. has had various wedding posters show up on blogs in the past.  Here is one of her delightful creations:

                                                         Source: riflemade.squarespace.com via Alyson on Pinterest

These witness certificates slash guest books can be easily created using Word even and a few graphics from my favorite place for inspiration The Graphics Fairy.  Or you can ask a friend who draws to draw you up picture that you can scan and have printed out by a local print company.  In Minneapolis, the company I consult for has had a great experience with 7 Corners Printing on Snelling Ave. in St. Paul, MN.  And they are union to boot so if you are hoping to have a socially conscious wedding that values sustainable working conditions, you can feel good using them.  They also can help you with putting together your poster if you would like. 

BHLDN Changes Language Immediately

                                                               Source: bhldn.com via Alyson on Pinterest

Update:

Within hours of writing BHLDN to let them know that the following language on this item could be offensive to some, they changed it! Makes me love them even more! The language changed from "One for him and one for her...as it should be," to "One for him and one for her...how lovely." Though their intent was surely never malicious, language is important and it's awesome that they changed it. How lovely.

Former Post:

BHLDN, Antropologie's new Wedding Line, has just launched an amazing line of decor items. Some of them are perfect for using in your wedding. Others are great for you registry. One of the items they are selling just plain offended me. The Sweetheart Forks are a set of forks with the engraving, "Bride" and "Groom" on them. Super cute. It would be awesome if you could choose 1 Bride, 1 Groom, 2 Brides, 2 Grooms, but I think we still have a few more years before that it is a reality. Disappointing but true. I'm realist. However realist I am I still expected a little more from Anthropologie when they posted the following description under this item:

"One for him and one for her… as it should be. A hand stamped vintage set of two from Woodenhive."

I think that they were intending to make a statement about equality within a marriage, as in, each spouse has his or her own fork, but it comes off as an anti-same-sex marriage statement. I've written to them about it and will post their response as soon as I get it.