The Two Bride Dilemma

Around Christmas time, my Maid of Honor had the realization that that there were two brides in our wedding.  Obviously she knew that Jesse and I were both ladies.  What she hadn't thought about was that we would both be Brides.  She exclaimed this realization as I described the dress Joy Teiken of Joy Noelle in Minneapolis was making for Jesse.  Basically, she said, "Are you afraid Jesse is going to look hotter than you?"  My best friend is like an old pair of pinking sheers at times: jagged and blunt.

I had thought about this numerous times though, albeit in a different way, about how to ensure that our looks were not competing with each other and that they each captured the essence of who we are.  Choosing to go with Joy to make our dresses complement and not compete with each other was the first step.  Joy just got it.  In my first conversation on the phone with her she was like, "Oh, yeah, I've done plenty of two brides' dresses where they should look like they belong together but aren't matchy-matchy."  Hired.

I told my MOH that all I thought about when I thought about Jesse all dolled up in her dress was how beautiful she was going to look and how if you are inviting everyone you care about, some of who have not met her, it's nice to think that her beauty is so great it poses concern!  Plus, a little healthy concern about your own beauty showing through on your wedding day is good motivation to look your best too.  Especially when the woman you are marrying is strikingly beautiful.

All of this said though, this morning I was looking through through Style Me Pretty's E-Glossy Magazine featuring the Best of 2010 Weddings and I got overwhelmed.  I went downstairs to unload on Jesse while she was writing (it didn't really matter if she was fully listening) about how many beautiful things I had just seen and how overwhelmed I was.  The SMP E-Glossy had a bride who was in a dress that looks a lot like mine, there was a lot of antique silver in the photos, and a lot of brides who chose to have their maids wear different shades and styles of dresses.  All of this was affirmation that the choices I am making are A) good ones, and B) not completely epiphanies.  By the latter I mean this: I look at so many blog images that even when I come up with an idea on my own--like to solely use antique silver as serving ware for our family-style meal, I probably saw it somewhere else.  Obvious, right?  Sometimes the obvious hits you like a ton of DIY, hand-made bricks when you are a creative person.  Inspiration is why I look at all these images in the first place but I want to be able to step outside the inspiration in order to create my own wedding and ideas for future weddings I will style and coordinate.  I had a similar issue in graduate school when I was pulling together lit reviews for my various research topics.  It's hard to have an idea that you want to explore and then to pull together what has already been done around that idea and then to have to fill in the gaps where others haven't explored.  It's the same way with innovation in weddings.

As I was processing all of this with Jesse I mentioned that one thing all of these weddings had in common on SMP were that the brides were Gorgeous.  As in Drop Dead.  The brides were slim and fresh-faced and model-esque.  This of course makes me want to be as beautiful as possible as we plan to use photos from our wedding not only as keepsakes for generations to come (no pressure there At All) but also to promote Juliane James Place and my event styling business, Sota Pop.  For the hour that I looked through these pictures in the e-glossy I lost my adult mind and switched into insecure, competitive teenager mode.  So out of control.

To further add to how out of control I am I then realized that because we have two brides that if we share our wedding publicly I might not be the bride who was featured!!!  I had never considered this because my thoughts about sharing our wedding publicly (outside of business promotion directed by me) went this far: I like seeing other people's weddings--it would be great if other people got to see how cool ours is going to be.  As I was talking this out with Jesse, who was barely listening most likely as a relationship-survival mechanism, I was joking that it would be hard to explain this moment to our photographer, Eliesa, that that was the reason Jesse wasn't allowed to be in any pictures alone.  Hahaha. 

Now, it's hard to write that without laughing so hard my eyes tear up, but it hits at the serious dilemma with two brides.  A bride wants to be the center of attention to some degree and the entire event is structured around that.  So many traditions are based on this bride-as-focal-point idea.  It's complicated when there are two brides.  Things like walking down the aisle become something that needs to be decided carefully so that both brides can share the spotlight.  Luckily for me I am marrying a woman who could care less about just about everything I detailed here so I'm sure that we will have everything worked out in time for the wedding--and by worked out I mean focused on both of us with and emphasis on me.  Now if only I could do something about how great she looks in photos...

Twin Cities Bridesmaid Dress Shops, Part 1

I went a lot of stores and boutiques and did a lot of research before finally deciding what bridesmaids dresses to go with for my ladies.  Part of it was my indecisiveness and my perfectionism, part of it was wanting to get a good look at the different places to get dresses in the Twin Cities.  A huge part of it was the fact that I decided to go with different dresses in different colors for each bridesmaid.  A decision that took a considerable amount of work.  At first it seemed like perhaps this would make the process easier, because then each person could choose the best fit for her body.  Thing is that finding 3-5 colors that go well together and fit within your color palate, all from the same designer, is difficult.  I am putting up an additional post here today about the dresses I decided to go with.

I went to the following shops and have reviewed their selections below and in Part 2 of my posting on Twin Cities Bridesmaid Dress Shops:

Priscilla of Boston, Edina

After having such a nice time working with Sarah at Priscilla I emailed her to see if I could come in and take a look at bridesmaid dresses and heard back immediately from her associate that she would be in that afternoon.  I went on in and she took the time to not only show me all of their long, chiffon dresses and color swatches, but also to look through the new shipments that had come in to see if they had received a new color they just came out with.  I would recommend working with Sarah to any bride who is interested in exploring Priscilla of Boston, Vineyard Collection, or Melissa Sweet dresses in Minneapolis.

Priscilla of Boston's Edina Storefront

The best thing about Priscilla in Edina besides the staff and the lovely store set-up is that they have a huge selection, including most of the dresses offered within their three lines, and almost all of the colors in the materials they are offered in.  It's wonderful to be able to see the selection all together.  If you are like me and are choosing different colors and different dresses for your bridesmaids it's nice to be able to hang the different dresses next to one another to see how they complement each other.

I liked a few of the dress styles they had available and Loved the color gray they had for the crinkle chiffon, called Dove.  My only difficulty was nailing down whether or not the dresses would all look good together when matched with the Amsale blush color I had my heart set on from the beginning.  Trying to match colors and dress styles from different lines is a task I wouldn't recommend for those who shy away from lengthy processes.

Details:

Website

Priscilla of Boston - Edina
3926 West 50th Street
Edina, MN 55424

Phone: 952.922.2106

Rush's Bridal, Downtown Minneapolis

I called Rush's Bridal and asked if I needed an appointment to come in and take a look at dresses in their showroom and was told I did not need one if I was a bride coming in to look at dresses.  I originally wanted to be able to try on the dresses because I feel that is the way that you get the best idea of fit and draping in each of the dresses.  Although many of the fitting rooms were empty, this request was received with unease so I let it go.  I know it's odd for a bride to want to try on her bridesmaids' dresses but when your bridesmaids live across the country as mine do, I don't want to recommend them going to try on dresses that look different on the hanger than on.

Rush's selection was Huge.  They had so many designers and dresses at their location that I proceeded to pull dresses off the racks (I was the only one looking at bridesmaid dresses that day in the store) and hang them on the outside of a dressing room, where there were hooks available, so I could see the dresses next to one another.  At this point a sales associate came over to assist me because I was pulling so many dresses off to take a look at them.  I think that my process was out of the norm for the store but they seemed to be OK with it once I explained that I was looking for different color dresses in different styles for women who live in different places.

I ended up finding quite a few styles that I liked but none within the same designer line or lines that flowed together as well as I wanted the dresses to.  There were a lot of mid-range designers available at Rush's and their prices were incredible if you were buying multiples of the same dress.  The issue with bridesmaids dresses is that you usually have to buy three dresses by the same designer to get any markdown off the retail price, which is anywhere between 10-30% higher than the multiple-purchase-discount price.  I would recommend Rush's for anyone looking to get a good glimpse of a lot of different dresses and colors at a range of prices.  It would be easy to outfit your maids for less than $200 each at Rush's.


Website


Rush's Bridal - Minneapolis
927 Nicollet Avenue
Minneapolis, MN 55402

Phone: 612-343-WEDD (9333)

A Note on Vendor Reception of Same-Sex Weddings in Minnesota

Every single Twin Cities vendor I have dealt with thus far in the process of creating a wedding venue and planning my wedding has been incredibly same-sex wedding friendly.  And of course, business-wise they all would be, who wants to turn away business that has actively sought you out, but it's more than that.  It's in the way a person gets a little more excited when they realize that more same-sex couples are actively ignoring our state's lack of recognition of same-sex unions/marriages, it's there when someone wants to work with you because they want to add more gay weddings into their portfolio because it's something they believe in, and it's absolutely present within those first few milliseconds after you tell them your fiance is female and they really don't give a damn.

The latter is when you can really tell how friendly a vendor is.  And I'm not suggesting that vendors rehearse straight (no pun intended) faces in case a bride or groom reveals to them that they are marrying someone of the same gender.  I don't expect that.  It is something different to be marrying someone of the same sex, at least in Minnesota at this point in time.  The look is one of acknowledging and accepting all within the same look.  And that's what has happened thus far within all of my interactions with other business owners and wedding vendors a year into my business/wedding planning journey.  It's absolutely refreshing and it's absolutely hopeful that soon enough Minnesota will be a state with full marriage equality.

Outdoor Weddings Treats

I feel like I just fell into the Etsy baked-goods accoutrement rabbit hole...

I was perusing Etsy looking at designer cupcake liners to pizazz to outdoor weddings at Juliane James Place and came across these super cute Woodland Cookie Cutters from The Cupcake Social.

Woodland Cookie Cutters from The Cupcake Social (here)

I think the little cookie critters would look so cute with log cakes.  I think that this yule log from Martha Stewart, that I have been obsessed with since it was in Living a couple holiday seasons ago, could be easily modified to not look as Christmas-like.

Lots of little logs surrounding a bigger faux bois cake like one of these below.  Jesse and I plan to have a faux bois cake like the pink one with the anemones on it for our wedding.  

Boys Wedding Attire for Themed Weddings

One of my close friends (and bridesmaids!) is currently in labor so I have children on my mind as I dive back head first into blogging after my own wedding plans took over my blogging/general wedding research endeavors.  More on that to follow.  I firmly believe that my friend is going to have a boy so I am focusing on cute things that boys can wear for weddings that are differently-themed and that require something a little different than a traditional suit.

Check out the kid in the top right corner of this wedding (above) posted last week on 100 Layer Cake.  The couple that orchestrated this wedding is one of the most brilliant couples I have seen.  They are my new wedding inspiration.  More on that to follow to.  Well, a little here, just a little: they constructed a story complete with momentos that went out with their invites.  I heart them.  A lot.  Back to tiny outfits. 

These two cute pageboy ensembles (gray, blue) are from childrensalon.com, which may have the cutest kids clothes I've ever seen. How amazing would these be for an early-20th century theme wedding?  Or even if you just have a/the groom/s in three-piece suits and bow ties or a/the bride/s in vintage dresses.  A toddler with these little outfits with a pageboy cap on?  Amazing.  Childrensalon.com also has a Sailor Suit And a Seersucker.